I think that is a phrase that applies to me quite well.
It seems that in many aspects of life I have always been slightly behind most of the rest of society.
This was never really a problem, just more of a quirk.
Of late, however, it was started to become more of a nuisance.
One of the biggest areas in which I am lagging slightly behind my peers is in music obsession and celebrity idolization.
I went to an elementary school where popular music was not exactly encouraged, so when I left that school and was introduced to pop music for the first time, it was like I was ravenous for it.
And because of this those phases that most go through around 14 or 15 where they idolize one singer with all of their being happened to me when I was 17 years old. That is when I found Taylor Swift and became a massive fan of hers. Luckily I think I am coming to the end of that phase, which is a good thing for me. I will always be a fan of hers, of course, but I think that I can now be content to be more of a background fan than the forefront-type one I have been until now.
There is another element of this that has snuck up on me a bit, though.
And that is the part where people tend to develop crushes on musicians. I think this is something that mostly tends to happen to girls who are too young to have experienced a real relationship, and they sort of throw all of their hopes and dreams into some dreamy guy on a poster.
Because I didn't get to do this when I was 12, it seems that my brain has decided that I am going to do it now.
Except for I am in rather a different situation from most, because, being that I am 20 years old, I have experienced love and real relationships. And yet here I am getting butterflies in my stomach every time I hear a certain singer's voice come floating through the radio. It is insane and crazy but yet I am enjoying it.
I feel like, as I'm growing older, I am continuously searching for things that make me feel young and innocent and wide-eyed again, and this is certainly helping.
So, for now, I am content in my girlish crush.
Who says I can't be 12 again?
